When Food Bullies Undermine Your Best Intentions

The term “Food bullying is a fairly recent term, and takes many forms. For example, the health food industry in general, fosters food bullying by spawning a culture where people are shamed for not consuming organic, or vegan, super foods, or other trending foods. Plus, you may encounter family food bullies who see your food choices as a threat to them in sustaining their food addictions.

_{“Bullying doesn’t happen without fear—and there’s a whole lot of fear in food today! Food bullying literally takes food out of someone’s hand—by removing choice, creating emotion, or forcing an individual into groupthink mentality.” —Michele Payne, Author, Food Bullying, How to Avoid Buying B.S.}

Strangely, in recent decades in the post family-farm era, the act of eating has been redefined, and in various cultural circles, food choices have evolved into a moral position, or identity for some; entertainment for others (“foodie” concept); and even an addiction for yet others. However, food, as defined by our bodies and in nature, is meant to fuel us, and other definitions have taken food as culture beyond human nature, rather than a natural and healthy human act.

 Maybe you have been “highly sensitive,” as long as you can remember. If you have lived with gut issues since childhood, memories of negative food reactions, or long term constipation carries the fog of embarrassment and humiliation. Perhaps, you did not learn that being sensitive could be your super power. Just as your gut instantly responds to toxins or stress, your intuition can guide you in life decisions, where no other method is effective.

Firstly, you may unearth a beautiful lesson in the humility. One of my clients, whom I will call Diana, is a successful CEO of a large hedge fund. Newly diagnosed with diverticulitis, Diana was heading out to a business dinner on the evening of our last consult. Out of the fear of being judged, she had not told the hostess she had dietary restrictions. Now, the dinner was three hours away. Diana had just recovered from a flare and could not afford a diet mishap.

This powerhouse and pillar of industry, who commanded any room in which she appeared, was terrified. “I cringe when I think about about “inflicting” my menu requests on the hosts last-minute.” She said, through tears, “I am worrying myself into another flare! ”Diana’s youngest son, James, age 17, a type one Diabetic, also had plans that night. He had been invited to the Winter Social, his first high school dance and after party. And, Diana had been counseling James on how to handle the issue of drugs and alcohol.

In the year 2025, people understand that allergies are medical conditions with possibly life-threatening consequences. Restaurants fear customers who might stop breathing at their establishment. The fire department and paramedics to arrive while their dining room is full of guests. is a legal liability they take seriously. My gift to you this holiday season are the super tips in this blog. These strategies will help you silence the food bullies, when your polite “No, thank you,” is not enough. Boldly, tell them that you have recently developed some allergies. My lifelong experience with this issue has taught me the most widely accepted answer is, “Thank you. However I am allergic to _____________” (particular food in question)

When other people decide that your food choices are negotiable, the magic word “allergy” stops them instantly. And, a medical condition is not a preference. Even if you would actually not want to eat cheesecake, for example, saying you are allergic to dairy s a neutral response. Consequently, people accept when you choose to breathe or avoid hives which come from sampling their prized dessert.

Of course, It is your choice with whom you reveal your current diagnosis, symptoms, or recent struggles. However, I suggest sharing with those who would be compassionate, safe, and understanding.

You have no obligation to tell your cranky uncle who lives on Taco Bell food, that you are now gluten-free. You do not need explain your desire to heal your gut to the neighbor who orders pizza nighty. If the neighbor who offers you chocolate cake, simply say that you are allergic to chocolate.

 If you wish to help and educate someone you love, heal yourself first. First, model the possibility of healing, Lead by example. After all, what and who inspires you? For me, those who done “the impossible” are inspirational guides. And, healing your gut from what your doctor may have labeled an “incurable” condition is a worthy goal.

I believe our health challenges are gifts disguised as inconveniences. Because of my health issues, I have given myself permission to speak, create boundaries, deal with confrontation—to truly know myself. So, my body gave me an ultimatum: acquire skills in those areas, or say goodbye to being in a body.

What are the hidden gifts in your health challenges? Can you list five of them? To reframe your health challenges from curse to a blessing may be the greatest gift of all. And, if you want to go one step further book a private gut health session with me, available for a limited time.

Although I do not subscribe to New Year’s resolutions, I do recognize the powerful energy of a new year In Chinese astrology. And, 2025 is the year of the snake—of shedding skins, and closing a chapter.

Following in 2026, is the year of the horse, which signifies forward movement, strength, and new horizons. Accordingly, let’s leap together into the new year by turning over a new leaf, To start with, what are your health goals? Secondly, what would you like to change about your body, or your relationship to your body, food, or self-care? Take a moment to reflect on these, and if inclined make them real by sharing with us on one of our online communities.